Saving all Rihannas

I am deeply saddened and disappointed by Rihanna's decision to forgive and stay with asshole Chris Brown. They are both so much in the public's eye and have such a strong influence over the upcoming generation that, I believe, to many of them, it sends the message that this type of behavior is acceptable. IT IS NOT!!

Through my years of domestic violence counseling, I know that statistically, a woman will attempt to flee this situation (on average) seven times before she successfully leaves or is successfully killed. It took me eight, so this is a statistic I believe to be true. I wonder how many times, if any she has reached out for help. As I said in a previous blog: this was not the first time he hit her. It gets worse and more frequent over time, so I am certain she has endured this type of pain at his hands before. Whom ever she reached out to previously did not do enough.

One out of four women are domestic violence victims. This statistic holds true for teenage girls as well. I am one and chances are, one of you reading this is a victim too. Again, I offer a helping hand. Literally. I will hold your hand and walk you through every step. The life of a victim is not one worth living. I can proudly say, as a SURVIVOR, that life is beautiful on the other side of abuse.

I am not meaning to blame Rihanna or any other victim for staying. I have been there. I have lied for the abuser, made excuses for his behavior, forgiven him for scarring my body- all in the name of love. At least that's what I thought it was. As Oprah says, "love does not hurt."

I am now with a wonderful man who has put up with a lot of my crap for years. He has seen me in my worst moments and walked out on me many times. Thankfully, he walked out. Even though I begged him to stay- he walked out. He never put a hand to me. He never one time thought to deliberately hurt my body in any way. He just walked out. Like a REAL man. Cowards hit!! Only cowards who think they can control a woman's thoughts and actions will hit them. And if they hit once, it WILL happen again. And again.

I pray for Rihanna and all Rihannas living in this vicous cycle. I pray for the upcoming generation who just recieved the message that this is how a 'loving' relationship works. IT IS NOT!! I know that I cannnot save all Rihannas, but I know that I have helped two women stop being victims and taught them to be survivors. I hope that this blog may help another. I have vowed to become more active in advocating for these women.

Love does not hurt. Pain is not worth living through. No one is ever alone in this situation. There are countless people willing to offer support and countless resources available for anyone willing to take them. God bless all Rihannas and may He find a way to bring them to this blog and to my life so that I may help them see a better day.